KAYAKU NIGHT 2

2009年7月20日

みなさま、おげんきですか?

6月の舞台、KAYAKU NIGHT 2 に来て下さった皆様、そして、いつも応援して下さっている皆様、いつも本当にありがとうございます。。久しぶりに日記を書こうと思います。。

CM音楽や映像音楽の制作、素敵なアーティストとの出会いでリスペクトという気持ちと、自分自身の音楽に対する考え方の再確認ができた事など、様々な出来事があって。。そして、今回の公演に到って、今のこの”気持ち” なんだな。。という感じでいます☆
前回の一回目の公演も、とても貴重な経験で、即興演奏とダンスや演技、いろんな音を加工して創ったBGM、と、様々な事を表現させてもらえた場でした。その様子は、「Movie」のページで見る事ができるので、よかったらチェックしてみてくださいね☆

そして今回二回目の公演は、前回とまた全然違う内容のものでした。前回のテーマは、大きいテーマは「表と裏」。その中で、私は「光と影」を表現させて頂きました。
そして今回のテーマは、「体」。コンテンポラリーダンサーで、主催者でもある、倉知可英さんと、フランス人 ヤニック。二人がどう演出してくるのか、また私達の中にあるものを、どう引き出すのか。。
今回は、プロから学生まで、様々な人間が絡み、そして前回と同じく、出演者も当日まで舞台がどうなっていくのか分からないという、ワクワクした気持ちと少しの不安が入り交じった、そんな気持ちで、皆がスタートし、制作が始まりました。。

そして。。内容が見えてきて、ヤニックから伝言が。。当日のMineyoのソロパートの格好。こういう格好で出るのはOKですか?というフランスからの伝言でした。

テーマは「体」。全体的に露出も高く、私も、写真では体をテーマにしたものを撮ったことはあっても、沢山の人の前でそれをした事はなかった。でも、主催者には舞台の”意図”があり、また時間のない中、返事をどうするか考えたり、はずかしがってしまう事は、主催者にとっても、ストレス。私自身も、いつもと同じ事をするのであれば、出演する意味がないと思って、即、その伝言にOKの返事をしました。

それに、自分の中にないものであれば、絶対、「やる」という事になっていかないし、自分の中にあるものだから、向こうから何かがやってくるのだ、と思います。。

そして、また伝言が。『全タイ(全身タイツ)を着る事は、OKですか?』
「全タイ??」最初、何の事か分かりませんでした(笑)
全身タイツといえば、日本でいうと、お笑い用に使うもの、というイメージ。でも、フランスなど、ヨーロッパの感覚では、とてもアート。
全タイにもいろいろあって、全く目や口などの穴のないもの。メタル色なものなど、様々。
当然、体の線もはっきり分かるし、ダンスもしなくてはいけない。それに、ダンスというダンスもやった事もないし、クラブで自由に踊るか、前回の公演で少し経験した程度。その上、お笑いしかイメージ出来ない全身タイツ・・。。

『OK』。すぐ返事をしました(笑)これも、自分の中にあるもの。。??(笑)
でも、意外に、全タイで踊ると、少しの動きでもサマになるし、はずかしくない。体がどんどん自由に動くのが不思議でした。。

そして今回は、体を慣らす為に、ジャイロトニックという、主催者のお二人がやっている講習においでと言って頂き、参加させて頂きました。・・・日々どれだけ体を動かしていないかという事が、自分でもすぐに分かりました(笑)
ちょっとの動きなのに、ずっと手の位置をキープしておく事もままならない。吐きそうになりました(笑)日本に来日した主催者のヤニックも笑ってました。
そのうち体も慣れてきて。。でも、いろんなスケジュールをこなし、それが終わったら毎日稽古で、その後、楽曲制作だったりして。じんましんも出ました(笑)どちらかと言うと、ソロパートよりも、全タイ(全身タイツ)のパートの稽古の方が多くて、かなりハードでした、主催者を含めた他のメンバーとの踊りとの合わせも必要で。

どちらのパートの演出も、いきなり『自由に動いてみて』と言われ、また、『こんな事出来る?』など、いろんな要求があって、恥ずかしい事いっぱいしました(笑)ソロパートの稽古では、よだれは垂れるし、感情が溢れ出して泣き出すのは当たり前な感じ(笑)
その、”内から出るものたち”から、ダンスや動作、流れなどを構築していって創っていったという感じだったのですが、昔だったら、恥ずかしさや変なプライドや固まった価値観が邪魔して、出来なかっただろうなと思いました。今回は、何を言われても拒否せず、「OK」って感じで、まずやってみる、という気持ちでいました。でも、それによって、こんなに自由な気持ちになれるとは思ってもみませんでした。受け入れ、体を自由にさせる。。心だけ自由になったつもりでいても、それだけでは気持ちよくはないんだな〜っと、心と体はリンクしているんだ、という事を実感しました。。
自分が体験していない事に対して怖がらず、楽しむ事で、人生だいぶ違ってくるのかなあ、とも。。

でも、どうしても、私はダンサーではないので、ソロの稽古でも、本番前のソロのリハでも、声を出し体で表現しているうちに感情が表に出てきてしまい、涙がでてしまう。本番前日に主催者から、自分の内に入らず、体で表現しろと言われ、もう、どうしていいか分からなくなってしまって。。
涙や感情を出す事が悪い事では決してないのだけど、そう言われたのは多分、あまりに内に入ってしまい過ぎると、自分に酔っているようで、見ているお客さんが冷めてしまうという理由からだったのだと思います。私の中では、目から鱗というか、今までの自分の表現方法とは違う、新たな発見でした。。

・・でも実は、本番前日に、出来るかどうか不安になり、迷惑をかけるのではと、泣いてしまいました(笑)
でもそのお陰で、体全部で、体の内から外へと表現する、という意味が、本番間際と本番になってようやく分かった気がしました。。

そして当日。ソロパートでは、少し歌う部分もあったのですが、でも、まともに歌う事はほぼ無く、歌いたくても見えない物の邪魔が入り、おかしな声になっていったり、醜い顔になっていったり、体が膨らんだ風船のようになってしまい、その体の中の空気を、つばを吐くかの様に吐き出したり、転んだり、という設定。そんなシーンの中、最後には、ひたすら声を出し発狂。それらの事を通し、「体」を表現したものでした。いつものライブではありえない歌い方と表現(笑)フランスの感覚と、ヤニックお気に入りの日本の曲「いい日旅立ち」を歌い?ながらのこの表現は、ミスマッチで、とても怪しい雰囲気をかもし出していました。
初めて私を見た人は、ダンサーかパフォーマー(自分で言うのもおこがましい恐ろしい(笑))と思った方もみえたようです。歌う声が、壊れて伸びてしまったテープレコーダーの様な声を出したり、ものすごい顔をするので、お客さんは、最初は、「何?」「え?」という感じで、中には笑い出す人もいました。でも、最後の方では、その発狂して出し続ける声に引き込まれるように、お客様の顔も見る目も真剣になっていきました。。体の中の空気を吐き出すシーンでは、『一緒になって、おえ〜ってしてました。。』って、後から言われました(笑)『人の声って、人を引きつける、何かがあるんだなあと思った』とも。。この表現や、また、舞台全体を通して、いろんな方々が、体や自分自身のことなど、いろんな捉え方をして帰っていった様です。。
今回、普段出さない、いろんな声を出した事、そういった歌唱方法みたいなものが、難しかったんじゃないの?という感想も頂いたのですが、もしかしたら、自分の出したい声を想像し、躊躇せず声を出せば、誰でも出来てしまうものなのではっと思いました。あとは、心臓に毛!!(笑)
そういえば、ライブで、自分の体と心にストップをかけてしまい、声が上手く出なかった事、何度もあったなあ。。と、思い出しました。音程、リズム、うまく歌わなきゃ、そんな事ばかりに捕われて。。本当は、不安に思ったり、考えなければ簡単にできた事、だったのかもしれませんね。。

今回は、全身タイツのハードなパートの後、照明の演出により、様々な格好をした人たちの首より下の体を浮かび上がらせて、そしてただひたすら歩く、というシーンをやり、その後ソロパートだったので、休憩する間もなく、息が上がる上がる(笑)はあはあでした。汗の量も尋常じゃない。お陰で痩せました(笑)
でも、紫のサイバーな全タイを着て、くねくね踊っているのが私だったと気づいた人は、ほとんどいませんでした(笑)
当日も、何度も通しリハをしたので、全タイパートの本番では、最後、ちょっとモウロウとしてました(笑)息もほとんどできないし(汗)目の穴からかろうじて空気が入る感じ。
このパートの出演者の動きやダンスも、それぞれ自由に動き、そこから、その人の個性を生かした動きや、少しコメディーチックな動きなど、ダンス経験のない人からも、上手く二人の主催者によって引き出され構築されたものでした。そして、可英さん、ヤニックという、世界で活躍しているダンサーと一緒に踊る。。本当に光栄でした。。同じ舞台に立てて嬉しかったし、同じ舞台に立ちたいから頑張れたかなと思います。。

今回、新境地を開いて頂き、主催者のお二人に本当に感謝しているし、尊敬しています。
その他、プライベートでもいつも一緒の、映像作家さんやカメラマンさん、彼等、彼女等の作品も素晴らしいものでした。。そして今回一緒にイベントに参加した学生さんたちにも、出会えて本当に良かったなと思っています。
素晴らしい映像、写真、音楽、パフォーマンス、オブジェ、メディアアート。。リスペクトです。。。
今回のパフォーマンスを通じて、新たな音楽の仕事も増えました。音楽を表現する場所は、いろんな場所があり、自分のそれを出していく方法も、今までのものから、どんどん変わっていってもいいのではと思いました。
自分がやりたいと思えば、どこでも、いつでも、できる。。

でも、カヤクナイトでしか私を見た事の無い方々は、照明の演出家、舞台監督を含め皆さん、私をクレイジーな女だとずっと思ってたそうなので(笑)今後、音楽のオファーを頂いたとしても、普通に歌っていいんだかどうなんだかって思ってしまいます ・・(笑)
また、そんな新しい何かが決まったら、HPでお知らせしますね☆

今回も貴重な体験をさせて頂き、そして、それを受け止め感じて下さる方々がいることに、本当に感謝しています。。皆さん、本当に本当に、ありがとうございます。。
私にとっては、こういった事、舞台やステージは、ただ自分を表現するもの、というより、音楽という仕事だったり、人と人とが繋がる、大切なものとして捉えています。何でもそうだけど、ほんと、誰が見ていて、何が起こるか分からない。。
だから見えないものに対して頑張れるのかも。。。

全部は伝えられなかったかもだけど、またここで。いろんな事、ゆっくり一緒に話せることを心から楽しみにしています。。

本当に本当に、いつも、ありがとう!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mineyo

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